Memories
by Be My Master
Summary: Harry reflects on his life when he, Ron and Hermione are camping in the seventh book.


*PoV Harry*

We all sat on the floor of the tent. It was a cold morning and it looked like it was going to rain. The wind shook the tent and rattled the leaves. We were laughing and having fun, even though the whole wizarding world rested on our shoulders; on my shoulders the most. As the chosen one, I had a lot to do.

I brought my knees up to my chest and let my mind wander back to school. Back to the days were I could just sit, leaning against a tree on the school grounds. Back to the nights wrapped in his arms, and back to the halls of Hogwarts. I looked at Ron and Hermione, so deeply in love with one another but not knowing that the other felt the same. My friends were really all I had.

I shook my head to get these thoughts out of my head. I stood up and mumbled something about getting fresh air. I walked out of the tent, knowing that they had their eyes on me. I walked down to the river, where the water splashed on the rocks and the fish danced at the bottom. I let my thoughts flow back into my head and I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes. Looking down at my reflection in the water, I saw that I didn't know myself anymore. Who was this person looking back at me? What was he doing, looking back at me? Why was I even here? What was I doing?

A tear ran down my nose and it fell, leaving ripples in the water. My reflection disappeared. Voices from before echoed in my head.

_'Please! No! Take me instead!' my mother said._

_ 'Step aside, foolish girl!' said a cruel, cold voice._

_ 'What house do you want to be in? I know I'm going to be in Slytherin,' said the pale boy._

_ 'Hagrid,' my small voice squeaked. 'What's Quiditch?'_

_ 'Blimy, Harry!' roared Hagrid. 'I keep forgettin' how little yer know 'bout the wizardin' world!'_

_ 'Why so tense, Potter?' the pale teen said, dropping down from the tree. 'My father and I have a bet, you see. I don't think you'll last ten minutes in this tournament. He disagrees; he doesn't think you'll last five.'_

_ 'I don't give a damn what your father thinks Malfoy!' my voice cracked. 'He's cruel and vile. And you're just as pathetic.' _

_'Potter…,' the pale teen whispered, as he lowered his lips on mine. _

I remembered the feel on my lips, the taste of that beautiful man. I could still feel the way he touched me. I wish that these memories would go away! I had let the walls around my heart fall and opened up my heart, just to get it broken. I felt bound by the life that we left behind.

As the rain started to fall, I heard the story they had to tell. I walked over the dead leaves and fallen branches, listening. The howl of a lonely wolf, the sigh of wind. The tears of rain fell to the ground, running down my face. Funny. Some of them tasted of salt.

I dropped to my knees and sobbed, quietly wishing I could drown in my own tears. The story telling rain soaked my cloths, leaching the warmth from my body. I left my mind behind, at that school that seemed so far away and so long ago.

My hand reached up and touched the lightning shaped scar on my forehead. My finger traced the shape, telling me that this was all real.

I felt a cold hand wrap itself around my heart as I thought of my life. The cold, empty world that I had inhabited. The nothingness. The blank space that seemed to go on forever. There was no sign off light at the end and there was no light at the beginning.

The cold rain was trickling down my spine as I heard my name being called.

'Harry!'

It was quiet and distant, but I knew it was Hermione.

'Harry!'

It got louder and deeper. Ron was calling, too.

I pulled the locket from my shirt, taking it off. The little thing could make you think horrible things. But it had not placed these thoughts in my head. It had helped me find them.

'Harry!'

My name was being called, cutting through the misery in my mind. I stood, looking at where I was. I slumped against a tree, letting them call my name. My eye lids felt heavy and my eyes closed, letting sleep drug me. Leaning against that tree, I slept a dreamless sleep.

A warm hand brought me back to reality, though I was too cold to care. My eye lids drooped, and I wanted more sleep. It was still raining, the clouds playing an endless game in the heavens. Lightning cracked the sky and thunder boomed over head.

I felt a pair of arms lift me up, and I was being carried.

The arms that held me were warm and dry. My eye lids drooped again, begging sleep to come back. I heard a muffled voice that was scared. A female voice. Hermione, why are you worried? Another muffled voice, low and calm. Ron, always trying to calm Hermione down.

Closed my eyes, waiting with open arms for sleep to come and drug me again.

'Harry, don't go back to sleep,' said the low voice of Ron, which sounded very far away.

I know that I would wake from this dream soon. My head rested on the shoulder of Ron, letting my mind wander. The arms that held me shock, waking me from my daydream.

'I told you not to sleep,' Ron said.

I must have mumbled something along the lines of 'But I want to,' or 'But I feel so sleepy,' because Ron laughed a little. I opened my eyes and the world went fuzzy. I squinted for a moment, realizing that I wasn't wearing my glasses. I raised a hand and felt around for them, not finding them.

'Its okay, Harry,' Hermione said, holding up my glasses. 'I have them.'

'Can I get down?' I mumbled.

'No,' Ron said, looking down at me. 'Not until we're back at camp.'

Camp wasn't very far, but it was very warm. Ron put me down in a chair and Hermione wrapped a blanket around me. I brought my knees up to my chest wrapping my arms around them. It was then that I realized that I was shivering too much. Pulling the blanket closer, I buried my face in the soft, warm surface of the white blanket. My insides burned in cold pain and my eyes stung with tears.

Hermione wrapped her arms around me, adding her body heat to that of the blanket. She smiled at me and wiped a tear that had escaped away. I couldn't smile back so I just buried my face in her sweet smelling hair. Ron took that locket from around my neck and put it on the table.

'What do you think you were doing?' he asked with a smile. 'Running off like that?'

'I just wanted to get some fresh air,' I said. 'And then I just kind of… thought for a while, not really seeing where I was going.'

'Well, next time, don't start thinking. Well, you can think just look where you're going.'

I let a grin spread across my face as Ron shook his head in mock disapproval.

'What are we going to do with you, Harry?' Hermione asked, who was also smiling.

A few days earlier, we had found a town that sold food really cheap and we had spent almost all of our money. Now, we had warm bread and soup, which they made me eat slowly.

After tea, Hermione put her hand on my forehead.

'You're still below normal body heat but at least you can sleep now,' she said.

I smiled up at her. I didn't feel that sleepy anymore, but sleep was still welcome.

His voice crept through my mind and his face was always there. He was haunting my once pleasant dreams. I was letting him dance around in my mind, chasing the sanity out of me.

I must have been asleep only a few minutes when Hermione shook me awake. I looked up at her from my chair. She smiled down at me.

'I didn't mean you could go to sleep now,' she said softly.

I was puzzled, and it showed on my face. Ron came out of the little kitchen area with three plates, each bearing a piece of cake. He handed me a plate, smiling down at me. I brought my arms out of the little nest of blankets that I had built around myself, taking the plate. We ate and chattered, talking about things that had happened to us when we were little that had seemed scary at the time but now it was really funny.

I found myself lost in thought, thinking of that boy that I had fallen in love with so many years ago. I couldn't help thinking about that one very different Slytherin. I loved to think about Draco Malfoy. I still do. 


End file.
